On September 8, 2012 I was invited to be a presenter at Experiencers Speak, a conference in Gorham Maine that focused on experiencers telling their stories about their lifelong abduction experiences. I never thought that I would even be considered to talk publicly about these things, as those who normally spoke at these events were usually well known authors, scientists, philosophers and those with the letters P, h and D after their names.
I was quite taken aback when I read the roster of fellow speakers which included the likes of Travis Walton, Peter Robbins, Kathleen Marden, Chris Augustin, Todd Sheldon and others. Although I had finally come to terms with the fact that I was an abductee only a couple of years ago, I decided that it was time to speak publicly about my experiences, and I did so via various radio and television interviews, and by starting a blog.
This past year has proven to be one of change for me, and for that reason I opted to speak before a live audience for the first time in my life. Although the thought of speaking in front of people face to face was quite horrifying, the fact that my youngest daughter Emily was joining me on my journey gave me much needed peace as she has been so supportive in my "coming out", as has my oldest daughter Elise.
After I had committed myself to this task, an unexpected event happened to me, an event that would change my life forever. I had been contacted through facebook by a fellow experiencer who had listened to an interview I had done for Whitley Strieber's Dreamland segment for his website unknowncountry, so I accepted his friend request as I do for many experiencers who share their interest in my story in hopes that they will share theirs with me. Little did I know what fate had in store for me by doing so, but as I have come to learn, fate had nothing to do with it at all.
The day was April 20, 2012, right on the cusp of the ram turning into the month of the bull. He didn't share much about his experiences with me, but that is pretty normal for most as I know how hard it is to come to terms with them on a personal level, much less share them with a complete stranger. Believe me—I know all about the baby steps that one needs to take to accept the oddities that are involved in the abduction experience, so I am always very patient with my inquiries about their journeys.
We casually chatted online for a couple of months, and we slowly started sharing our experiences and our journeys from there to here. He seemed quite nice, and I really enjoyed our conversations as he was very polite and unobtrusive. We chatted about our families, careers and general life experiences, and I found him to be quite kindred in many ways. I didn't really give much thought to anything more than an online friendship at that point, as I had many others like him who enjoyed sharing their personal experiences with me for moral support, which I embrace as I realize that this is my path to follow here in this moment.
Since I had just recently ended a long term relationship, I was very cautious as I was still extremely vulnerable, and emotionally tattered. I had been through so much already in my life, and although I had no idea where I was to go from that point I surrendered to the universe and asked that the next time I was presented with a potential partner to please make it someone who was kindred to me (and I was VERY specific), an experiencer and a parent, as my children are the most important things in the world to me.
I started meditating more frequently as I knew it would help me to stay on my path, and possibly gain some insightful guidance from those who have been with me on my journey here. I knew to remain open to these messages, and pay attention to them diligently. My past experiences with meditation proved to me that by doing so I would always be where I am supposed to be at that moment.
One evening while I was working on my book, I received a message from "them" (whom I choose to refer to as my spirit guides) to close my computer, go into the bedroom, turn off the light, sit at the end of the bed facing the armoire and meditate for 15 minutes. I was so surprised that this message was so specific, but I did as I was told, even though I was deep into my writing that evening.
I sat there for 15 minutes and asked for the message I was being directed to receive, but nothing came. I was very frustrated with myself as apparently I wasn't open, or I would have received something. When nothing happened after those very specific 15 minutes had expired, I got up and went back into the living room to resume working on my book.
As I reopened my laptop, I realized that I had lost my focus. I was now completely sidetracked and decided I would log into Facebook to see what was going on in the land of social media. No sooner did I log in did that certain gentleman send me an instant message saying hello. I had a strange feeling at that moment, when I saw his name. Why was he so familiar to me? I get many such messages on a daily basis from people I have never personally met, but for some reason he all of a sudden seemed like he was someone I knew personally. We exchanged hellos, and talked for a bit, but the suspense was killing me, so I clicked on his profile and began to look at his photos to see if I recognized him.
The first thing that caught my eye was his cover photo of 3 stunning people. I asked him who they were, and he told me that they were his children. I couldn't stop staring at them as they were all so beautiful. I clicked on his photos, and I still couldn't place his face as someone I had met. I then came across a photo of a stunning young woman holding a small child. I asked him if she was his wife whom he had previously told me had passed away many years ago from cancer, and he replied that it was. I couldn't stop looking at her, and she was looking right back at me!
I suddenly began to feel very strange, as if she were looking right at me to tell me something. I then realized that SHE was the one giving me a message, and it was for him. I told him this, and that he wasn't going to believe it but I had just finished meditating and I now knew why. It was her, his wife, who was communicating with me. I told him that she wanted him to know that she was so proud of him, that she missed him, and that she loved him and was all around him all the time.
There was a brief pause in our communication, and then he wrote back that he really needed to hear that right now as he had been thinking about her all day as it would have been her 50th birthday. That day was July 7th, so her birthday was in 1962. I was blown away by all of this, as I have never received a message like this for anyone before, especially from a photograph. What was also interesting was that day was also one of my best childhood friend's birthday in the same year, and it was also my wedding anniversary in 1984. I told him this, and he told me that they had been married in August of 1984.
Anyone who knows me, or has read any of my previous blog posts knows that I pay very close attention to synchronicities, so I kept asking more questions as I felt that there was a reason for all of this. I then asked him how old he was, and he replied that he was also 50, and I replied that I was as well, and so was my ex. I was now thinking about my next question, which was obviously going to be about his birthdate. When I asked him he responded with March 26, 1962.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I read this, as that is also my exact birthdate.
We were stunned. He pays very close attention to synchronicities as well, so at that point we proceeded to ask more questions. As I had felt very kindred to him up to this point, and that there was a strong sense of familiarity on my part, I wondered what this was all about. The obvious question for me was if I had met him before during one of my experiences, and I asked him to send me some pictures of himself when he was a child, and I did the same.
There was no recognition between us in our earlier childhood photos, but one photo of me when I was in 8th grade in a Halloween costume (dressed as an alien no less) stopped him dead in his tracks. He recognized me, and started sobbing uncontrollably. I asked him why he was crying, and he said all he could think was that he was so sorry he couldn't help me. I was thoroughly baffled at this statement, and he said that he remembers me somehow at that age, and that he was watching something happening to me, and all he could do was watch, but he couldn't help me.
This is only the beginning of what is going to be a very long story to tell, and as I don't want to leave out one detail I am going to write them in chapters. This is the single most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, for so many reasons, and I am thrilled that I may be finally coming closer to finding out the answers to many of the questions I've had regarding my experiences, and my journey here.